Couples Therapy In Seven Words

The STRONG Model of Relational Therapy for Men: An Interview with Kristal DeSantis

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/kristal-desantis/.

I (Bruce) have often observed that men these days seem to be at a loss in knowing how to be men. The old default assumptions about how we’re supposed to show up in relationships, especially with women, seem not to work anymore. Our guest for this episode, Kristal DeSantis, is a therapist who specializes in helping men figure out how to navigate relationships. And she’s developed a model, called the STRONG model of Relational Therapy. We talk about her work, and her recent book, STRONG: A Relationship Field Guide for the Modern Man.

Kristal’s website is https://www.strong.love/.

Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.

Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is now available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.

I Confronted and Forgave Someone Who Plagiarized My Work: An Interview with Artemisia de Vine

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/artemisia-de-vine-2/.

We interviewed our guest in this episode, Artemisia de Vine, a few weeks ago in Episode 153 (this one is 162). Artemisia is an expert on sexual fantasies, and we had a fascinating conversation about it.

Recently Artemisia discovered that Rina Trevi, a podcaster and coach, had plagiarized her work, and Artemisia confronted her about it. What followed was inspiring to us, especially since Bruce’s book on betrayal and forgiveness is just about to be released. Artemisia and Rina appeared together on Rina’s podcast, and described how they turned this situation into an opportunity for grace, compassion, accountability, and clarity.

Artemisia’s forthcoming book is The Spirituality of Smut: The Surprising Wisdom of Sexual Fantasies. Her website is https://www.artemisiadevine.com/.

Our previous conversation with Artemisia is at https://brucechalmer.com/artemisia-de-vine/.

You can hear the podcast episode with Artemisia and Rina at: https://open.spotify.com/episode/5TONUvFUCjOgzQx1GJE4gI

Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.

Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

Bruce’s latest book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again is out on June 4, 2024—so if you’re reading this after that date, it’s available! More information at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.

Oh No! Did My Ex's Boyfriend Teach our Daughter the F-Word?

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/the-f-word/.

In this episode we talk about a short film, “The F-Word.” Besides being hilarious, this film touches on themes that often come up in couples work. What if parents differ about what constitutes appropriate conduct for their children? What if one parent thinks the other is doing something harmful to their children?

We also talk about Bruce’s forthcoming book Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again.

Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.

Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

Couples and Conflict: An Interview with Laurie Groh

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/laurie-groh/.

How can couples navigate conflicts and differences? What are some of the challenges couples face at different stages of life? Our guest in this episode, Laurie Groh, applies her training from the Gottman Institute, Terry Real, Esther Perel, Harville Hendrix, and others to help couples heal.

Laurie’s website is https://shoresidetherapies.com/. 

Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.

Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

The Better Man, Polyamory, and Consent: An Interview with Dr. Eric FitzMedrud

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/eric-fitzmedrud/.

What leads someone to recognize that they are polyamorous? How can getting consent be sexy? How can men learn to “be a better asshole”? These are some of the topics we talk about in this episode with our guest, Dr. Eric FitzMedrud. His recent book is The Better Man: A Guide to Consent, Stronger Relationships, and Hotter Sex.

Eric’s website is https://drericfitz.com.

Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.

Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

Can You Forgive Someone Who Raped You?

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/can-you-forgive-rape/ .

What are the limits of forgiveness? Can you forgive even the worst sort of violations? I (Bruce) have worked with many people who are struggling with this question. In part, it depends on what you mean by “forgive.” Does forgiveness have to imply that you’ll try to restore your relationship? Or might you forgive someone, but still not trust them? Could you see forgiveness as getting the poison out of you? Ann Lamott famously noted that not forgiving someone is like drinking rat poison and waiting for the rat to die.

Along the way, we also talk about people getting canceled, trigger warnings, microaggressions—basically, a lot of stuff that might generate angry emails. Try to be kind, don’t panic, and have faith (our seven words) as you respond.

Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.

Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

“Betrayal and Forgiveness” – It’s Almost Here!

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness-its-almost-here/.

Bruce’s book, Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again, is getting closer to its release. In this episode we talk more about various kinds of betrayal Bruce encounters in his work with couples. It’s often infidelity, but there are other sorts of betrayal as well.

Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.

Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.

 

For the audio-only version of this podcast, visit https://ctin7.com.

Betrayal and Forgiveness

The video of this episode is at https://brucechalmer.com/betrayal-and-forgiveness/.

 

What is betrayal? Why is it so painful? And how do you recover from the shock, get past the anger, and figure out how to move on? In this episode we talk about the kinds of betrayal Bruce encounters in his work with couples. It’s often infidelity, but there are other sorts of betrayal as well. We touch on secret cross-dressing, porn and masturbation, financial malfeasance, and other examples. And we put in a plug for Bruce’s forthcoming book, to be called Betrayal and Forgiveness: How to Navigate the Turmoil and Learn to Trust Again.

Do you have ideas for topics or guests for our podcast? Go to https://ctin7.com and send us a message. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.

Our sponsor is The Blue Tent: Erotic Tales from the Bible by Laria Zylber. Find out more at https://lariazylber.com.