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Be Kind, Don‘t Panic, and Have Faith. Psychologist Dr. Bruce Chalmer and educator Judy Alexander talk about relationships, interview fascinating guests, and answer your questions.
Episodes
Saturday Dec 05, 2020
Saturday Dec 05, 2020
How do you know when to call it quits in a relationship? We talk about how you can tell the difference between deal-breakers and growing pains, and then offer three guidelines. Then we take a listener question--one that comes very close to one of our experiences!
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Saturday Nov 21, 2020
Saturday Nov 21, 2020
What do you do if your partner has been unfaithful? Infidelity is a very common occurrence. We give five guidelines to help you heal, and then take a listener question: she cheated on her husband, felt terrible, and admitted it when he confronted her. She knows it was wrong, but also realized that she's been starved for intimacy for years. Now her husband won't talk to her about it. What should she do? Listen to our answer, and let us know your thoughts.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Friday Nov 13, 2020
Friday Nov 13, 2020
This is a special edition of our podcast, recorded a little over a week after the 2020 election. How can we heal as a nation? We apply the same seven-word formula--"Be kind, don't panic, and have faith"--that guides Dr. Chalmer's work with couples to the task of healing a divided nation.
Here's the link to Seth Chalmer's article mentioned in the episode: https://quillette.com/2020/11/12/towards-shared-identities/
Let us know what you think! Email us, or visit brucechalmer.com/podcast.
Sunday Nov 08, 2020
Sunday Nov 08, 2020
A quarter of Americans -- millions of people -- are currently estranged from a family member. That's one of the findings Dr. Karl Pillemer describes in his book, Fault Lines: Fractured Familes and How to Mend Them. As Dr. Pillemer interviewed hundreds of people in his study of estrangement, he discovered a subset of his interviewees who had been estranged, often for years, and had reconciled. And he found that their experiences of reconciliation were transformative. In our delightful interview with Dr. Pillemer, we explored his work, and applied it to a listener question from a wife about how a cutoff between her husband and her father was threatening her marriage.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Saturday Oct 24, 2020
Saturday Oct 24, 2020
In this episode we talk about sex: plain old, good, and sacred. What does it take to go from plain old sex to good sex? What's sacred sex, anyway?
Then we handle a listener question: "Chloe" likes sex with her husband, but resents his petulant reactions when he wants it and she's not in the mood. What can they do?
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Sunday Oct 18, 2020
Sunday Oct 18, 2020
Why get married? There's little or no social stigma or legal penalty, at least in most Western cultures, for having sex, having kids, or owning property together as a couple without being married. So what makes marriage significant?
In this episode we put that question to Rabbi Michael M. Cohen and Alison Hill, a married couple from Manchester, Vermont. They share what they've learned about marriage from being married themselves for over 30 years (with a great origin story!), and then answer a listener question: the writer wants to get married before she gets pregnant; her boyfriend also wants kids, but doesn't want to get married. Is this a deal-breaker?
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Saturday Sep 05, 2020
Saturday Sep 05, 2020
We interview Dr. Janis Spring, author of After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful, which has sold over 600,000 copies in the past 26 years and has just been published in a third edition. Dr. Spring tells us about her approach to helping couples deal with infidelity, talks about some of the changes she's seen over the past decades, and tells us what's new in the third edition of her book.
Then we pose a listener question to Dr. Spring: Is it cheating if he's using porn without his wife's knowledge?
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Sunday Aug 30, 2020
Sunday Aug 30, 2020
A special episode by request for the month of Elul, the month in the Jewish calendar immediately preceding the High Holy Days of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. We talk about the concept of teshuvah, and how it relates to faith and forgiveness.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Couples Therapy in Seven Words
Be kind, don't panic, and have faith. Everything and anything about relationships.