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Be Kind, Don‘t Panic, and Have Faith. Psychologist Dr. Bruce Chalmer and educator Judy Alexander talk about relationships, interview fascinating guests, and answer your questions.
Episodes
Sunday Nov 08, 2020
Sunday Nov 08, 2020
A quarter of Americans -- millions of people -- are currently estranged from a family member. That's one of the findings Dr. Karl Pillemer describes in his book, Fault Lines: Fractured Familes and How to Mend Them. As Dr. Pillemer interviewed hundreds of people in his study of estrangement, he discovered a subset of his interviewees who had been estranged, often for years, and had reconciled. And he found that their experiences of reconciliation were transformative. In our delightful interview with Dr. Pillemer, we explored his work, and applied it to a listener question from a wife about how a cutoff between her husband and her father was threatening her marriage.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Saturday Oct 24, 2020
Saturday Oct 24, 2020
In this episode we talk about sex: plain old, good, and sacred. What does it take to go from plain old sex to good sex? What's sacred sex, anyway?
Then we handle a listener question: "Chloe" likes sex with her husband, but resents his petulant reactions when he wants it and she's not in the mood. What can they do?
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Sunday Oct 18, 2020
Sunday Oct 18, 2020
Why get married? There's little or no social stigma or legal penalty, at least in most Western cultures, for having sex, having kids, or owning property together as a couple without being married. So what makes marriage significant?
In this episode we put that question to Rabbi Michael M. Cohen and Alison Hill, a married couple from Manchester, Vermont. They share what they've learned about marriage from being married themselves for over 30 years (with a great origin story!), and then answer a listener question: the writer wants to get married before she gets pregnant; her boyfriend also wants kids, but doesn't want to get married. Is this a deal-breaker?
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Saturday Sep 05, 2020
Saturday Sep 05, 2020
We interview Dr. Janis Spring, author of After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful, which has sold over 600,000 copies in the past 26 years and has just been published in a third edition. Dr. Spring tells us about her approach to helping couples deal with infidelity, talks about some of the changes she's seen over the past decades, and tells us what's new in the third edition of her book.
Then we pose a listener question to Dr. Spring: Is it cheating if he's using porn without his wife's knowledge?
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Sunday Aug 30, 2020
Sunday Aug 30, 2020
A special episode by request for the month of Elul, the month in the Jewish calendar immediately preceding the High Holy Days of Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. We talk about the concept of teshuvah, and how it relates to faith and forgiveness.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Friday Aug 21, 2020
Friday Aug 21, 2020
Why is faith important in your relationship, even if you're not religious? We talk about three kinds of faith, each of which plays a critical role in how we see ourselves, our partners, and our relationships.
Then we handle a listener question: His wife seems to be having an emotional affair. Is he right to feel hurt, or is this toxic jealousy? And what does that have to do with faith?
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Sunday Aug 16, 2020
Sunday Aug 16, 2020
What does it take to have a happy marriage for over 40 years? And how can the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) help couples get there? Susan and Bob Epstein are certified Life Coaches who use the MBTI to help their clients reach their goals and improve their relationships. We interview Susan and Bob about their work and their marriage, and then present them with a question from a listener who is afraid that doing the MBTI might tell him something about his marriage he'd rather not know.
Susan's website is here.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Friday Aug 07, 2020
Friday Aug 07, 2020
Barbra is Black, grew up in Uganda, and became a Jew by choice after she married Doug. Doug is white, grew up outside of Boston, and was and is a "very secular" Jew who is now the president of a synagogue. They live and raise their children in Vermont, one of the least racially diverse states in the country. What's that like? How are they affected by racism and antisemitism, individually, as a couple, and as parents? Listen to their fascinating stories in this episode!
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Couples Therapy in Seven Words
Be kind, don't panic, and have faith. Everything and anything about relationships.