Episodes

Friday Nov 05, 2021
Friday Nov 05, 2021
How do you handle it if your partner is complaining about how you clean. Or worse--if they're bullying you? And will learning how to communicate better help? We revisit a listener question from Bruce's blog.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort

Friday Oct 29, 2021
Friday Oct 29, 2021
The HBO series "Scenes from a Marriage" got us going! Join us as we relate our favorite ideas about intimacy to the struggles of Jonathan and Mira. Warning: spoiler alerts! We also handle a listener question about respect: What does it mean to respect your partner, and how do women and men differ about that?
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort

Friday Oct 22, 2021
Friday Oct 22, 2021
Financial and money concerns come up in couples therapy a lot--sometimes as deal-breakers. In our delightful interview with Natalie and Dan Slagle, who own and operate Fyooz Financial Planners (fyoozfinancial.com), we talk about their work helping couples use their money to live a more purposeful life. And we answer a listener question: How do you handle money when one member of a couple grew up with affluence, and the other was financially traumatized?
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort

Wednesday Oct 13, 2021
Maybe It Is About Communication After All! Episode 48
Wednesday Oct 13, 2021
Wednesday Oct 13, 2021
By far our most popular episode so far has been the one called, "It's Not About Communication!" But...what if it is? We talk about what happens when ideas--like noticing how people behave when they're communicating well--harden into ideologies--like techniques and rules. Along the way we cover the idea of relational fundamentalism (thanks to Judy for that coinage!), and how faith is the opposite of fundamentalism.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort

Wednesday Oct 13, 2021
My Partner‘s Sexual Demands are Driving Me Nuts! Episode 47
Wednesday Oct 13, 2021
Wednesday Oct 13, 2021
What happens when your partner wants way more sex than you do? Or way less? We talk about the death spiral that can happen in a relationship--but also about opportunities for grace, intimacy, and erotic connection, at any age.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort

Friday Sep 24, 2021
Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong! Episode 46
Friday Sep 24, 2021
Friday Sep 24, 2021
Everything you know about couples therapy is wrong! Well, maybe not everything. But we talk about what happens when your therapist puts their precious theories ahead of actual people, who somehow refuse to behave like the manual says. Join us as Bruce manages to insult Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Non-Violent Communication, and even his own ideas, smiling all the while.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort

Friday Sep 10, 2021
Five Ridiculous Rules for Communicating with Your Partner - Episode 45
Friday Sep 10, 2021
Friday Sep 10, 2021
Rules for communication! Everyone wants rules for communication! Of dozens of possibilities, here are five popular, common-sense rules--all of them ridiculous.
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort

Friday Sep 03, 2021
I Watch Porn. Do I Need to Tell My Partner? Episode 44
Friday Sep 03, 2021
Friday Sep 03, 2021
We're responding to a provocative question posed by a letter to Dr. Bat Sheva Marcus: If you watch porn, do you have to tell your partner about it? What are the pros and cons? Is porn okay at all, and if it is, how should a couple deal with it?
Send in your questions: email us at bruce@brucechalmer.com, or just visit brucechalmer.com. We'd love to hear from you!
And let us know if you'd like to be interviewed on the show! Visit brucechalmer.com/podcast for more information.
Dr. Chalmer's book Reigniting the Spark: Why Stable Relationships Lose Intimacy, and How to Get It Back is available here, or wherever you get your books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort

Couples Therapy in Seven Words
Be kind, don't panic, and have faith. Everything and anything about relationships.