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Be Kind, Don‘t Panic, and Have Faith. Psychologist Dr. Bruce Chalmer and educator Judy Alexander talk about relationships, interview fascinating guests, and answer your questions.
Episodes
Friday Feb 24, 2023
Friday Feb 24, 2023
What do you do when your partner asks you, “Do these pants make me look fat?” As we discuss, it’s classically asked by a woman of her male partner, and it strikes terror into the hearts of the guy. But we realized—actually, Judy realized—after we did the recording that there’s a great equivalent question that a man might ask his female partner. And we inserted our discussion of that in the episode—cracking up as we did so. (You’ll hear the insertion staring at 21:45.)
What do you think? Go to https://ctin7.com, and scroll down to the “Submit a Question” button. And you can also sign up for Dr. Chalmer’s newsletter right from our homepage.
You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.
Friday Feb 17, 2023
Friday Feb 17, 2023
How can a couple create and sustain joy across cultural differences and histories of childhood trauma? Our guests Nina Kako and Roger Guertin tell us how they did it and continue to do it. We found their energy delightfully contagious, and hope you do too!
Roger and Nina’s podcast is the “Head Over Heels Show” (https://headoverheelsshow.com/).
As we say in the episode, sign up for Dr. Chalmer's Newsletter! You can do it right from our homepage. And send us your questions and comments! Go to https://ctin7.com, and scroll down to the “Submit a Question” button.
You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.
Wednesday Feb 08, 2023
Wednesday Feb 08, 2023
Dating can be hard—especially if you’ve had repeated experiences of finding the wrong person for the kind of relationship you want. Our guest in this episode, Charlene Byars, specializes in helping women who are looking for the right man—someone she describes as a “devoted, masculine man.” We ask her what she means by that, and how she goes about helping the women she works with as a coach.
Charlene’s website is https://www.charlenebyars.com/.
As we say in the episode, sign up for Dr. Chalmer's Newsletter! You can do it right from our homepage, https://ctin7.com. And send us your questions and comments! Go to https://ctin7.com, and scroll down to the “Submit a Question” button.
You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.
Friday Feb 03, 2023
Friday Feb 03, 2023
How can a practice of mindfulness help couples when they’re dealing with sexual difficulties? And what’s the “vulnerability cycle”? We interview couples therapist Wendi Dumbroff about those topics and more.
Wendi’s website is https://wendidumbrofftherapy.com.
As we say in the episode, sign up for Dr. Chalmer's Newsletter! You can do it right from our homepage, https://ctin7.com. And send us your questions and comments! Go to https://ctin7.com, and scroll down to the “Submit a Question” button.
You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.
Friday Jan 27, 2023
Friday Jan 27, 2023
Julia Postema and Jeremiah Gibson each grew up in the world of fundamentalist evangelical Christianity, and they each independently became sex therapists and left the fundamentalist culture. They specialize in helping couples with negative religious backgrounds discover sexuality that works for their partnership. We talk about their work, and pose a listener question right out of Bruce's latest book: how can the listener reconcile his lifelong attraction to men with his personal, marriage, and family ties to his evangelical church?
Their website is https://www.sexvangelicals.com.
As we say in the episode, sign up for Dr. Chalmer's Newsletter! You can do it right from our homepage, https://ctin7.com. When you sign up, you'll get access to the first volume of our Video Vignette series, in which you'll see Bruce and Judy enacting scenes featuring one of the couples from Bruce's book Reigniting the Spark.
Send us your questions and comments! Go to https://ctin7.com, and scroll down to the “Submit a Question” button.
You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at https://ctin7.com.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Friday Jan 20, 2023
Friday Jan 20, 2023
How do couples have sex when one or both are disabled in some way, be it physically, mentally, or emotionally? How do couples who come from different cultural backgrounds manage to talk about their sex lives? What about differences in sexual desire? Our guest in this episode is Emerald Aueyong, a sex therapist in West Los Angeles who specializes in these issues.
As we say in the episode, sign up for Dr. Chalmer's Newsletter! You can do it right from our homepage, https://ctin7.com. When you sign up, you'll get access to the first volume of our Video Vignette series, in which you'll see Bruce and Judy enacting scenes featuring one of the couples from Bruce's book Reigniting the Spark.
Send us your questions and comments! Go to https://ctin7.com, and scroll down to the “Submit a Question” button.
You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at https://ctin7.com.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Friday Jan 13, 2023
Friday Jan 13, 2023
For our 100th episode (yay!), we have an interview with Nicole Quallen, a collaborative divorce attorney in North Carolina. Nicole helps couples navigate their way through the rocky shoals of divorce with a collaborative, rather than adversarial approach. We talk about how that works (and when maybe it doesn’t), and how collaborative divorce can foster healing and cooperation.
Nicole’s website, which also includes information about her soon-to-be-launched podcast, is https://twofamilieslaw.com.
As we say in the episode, sign up for Dr. Chalmer's Newsletter! You can do it right from our homepage, https://ctin7.com. When you sign up, you'll get access to the first volume of our Video Vignette series, in which you'll see Bruce and Judy enacting scenes featuring one of the couples from Bruce's book Reigniting the Spark.
Send us your questions and comments! Go to https://ctin7.com, and scroll down to the “Submit a Question” button.
You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at https://ctin7.com.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Monday Jan 02, 2023
Monday Jan 02, 2023
We’re coming up on three years of doing this podcast! We take a January look backwards and forwards. While we’re at it, we review the seven-word formula that gives the podcast its name.
As we say in the episode, sign up for Dr. Chalmer's Newsletter! You can do it right from our homepage, https://ctin7.com. When you sign up, you'll get access to the first volume of our Video Vignette series, in which you'll see Bruce and Judy enacting scenes featuring one of the couples from Bruce's book Reigniting the Spark.
Send us your questions and comments! Go to https://ctin7.com, and scroll down to the “Submit a Question” button.
You can find out more about Dr. Chalmer’s new book, It’s Not About Communication! Why Everything You Know About Couples Therapy is Wrong, at https://ctin7.com/books.
Like this podcast? Review us, like us, follow us, and do all those other kinds of wonderful things to us! It helps people find the show. Visit us at https://ctin7.com.
Music: Besamim (Spices) by Bruce Chalmer, performed by Fyre and Lightning Consort
Couples Therapy in Seven Words
Be kind, don't panic, and have faith. Everything and anything about relationships.